He has just received his latest patent, number 3,011, for a product called “Dr. NakaMats’ Love Jel.” Mr. NakaMats leaps from his chair — he is a decidedly restless man, never long in one place — and goes to the table to show off his handiwork. He holds up a small bottle containing a clear liquid.
“This is intended to make sex three times more enjoyable,” he says in fluent English. Asked why he has taken an interest in such things, Mr. NakaMats frowns, displeased with having his work misunderstood.
“Japan’s birth rate is declining,” he explains. “It is now down to just 1.53 children per couple. That means there will be no more Japanese in 800 years. So I invented this to promote having children. I invented this to save Japan.”
With all respect, I’m sure a smart man like Mr. NakaMats realizes that all kinds of things can change in 800 years, but I’m glad someone’s on the job.